Moving to Spain with Teenagers - Page 3

TimGX wrote on Sun May 24, 2020 8:02pm:

That's very helpful and the sort of reasoned response I was hoping for, thank you.

Andymac1951 wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 3:39pm:

Tim,

The only thing to fear is fear itself as the man once said.  Your children are young enough to adapt and will settle in relatively easily, so much easier for them than us oldies. There will always be a reason for not doing something, BREXIT, Covid 19, who knows what next, if it is something ...

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...you and the family want then go for it.  Life is far to short for the 'what ifs', fortune favours the brave and if you are as a family are up for it then do not hold back.  

Rent first before plunging in to buy and enjoy.

Good luck

Andy

juanida wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 2:53pm:

The younger the child, the easier it is to become bilingual.  Teenagers, even with basic Spanish find it incredibly hard.    However Matthew, as you suggested, you can't give advice to people who have already decided what they want to do, can you?

DarioMartin wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 3:05pm:

With respect, I think that is a little unfair - advice is just that, advice.  You can give it, but you need not be upset if your advice is not accepted wholesale.

We all here do not know these particular teenagers.  I have known a couple who have settled in very quickly, despite being older teens.  I believe it's all about attitude.  If they come with the intention of making a go of it, of TRYING to integrate, they are more likely to succeed...

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....  The ones that will fail are those that will resent their parents taking them away from their lives, their friends, their comfort zone.  They will not want to settle and will instead just be sulky and difficult.  If however a young person sees this as a grand adventure, a wonderful opportunity and really throws themselves into it .... well, that's quite a different story.

The original poster, Tim, obviously knows his children well, and rather than telling him that his children are going to fail, we should instead be encouraging him to take counsel from them, find out how committed they are to the idea.  Just because someone is not yet out of their teens doesn't mean they don't have a brain in their head, or an idea of what they want to do with their lives.

DarioMartin wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 3:05pm:

With respect, I think that is a little unfair - advice is just that, advice.  You can give it, but you need not be upset if your advice is not accepted wholesale.

We all here do not know these particular teenagers.  I have known a couple who have settled in very quickly, despite being older teens.  I believe it's all about attitude.  If they come with the intention of making a go of it, of TRYING to integrate, they are more likely to succeed...

Read more...

....  The ones that will fail are those that will resent their parents taking them away from their lives, their friends, their comfort zone.  They will not want to settle and will instead just be sulky and difficult.  If however a young person sees this as a grand adventure, a wonderful opportunity and really throws themselves into it .... well, that's quite a different story.

The original poster, Tim, obviously knows his children well, and rather than telling him that his children are going to fail, we should instead be encouraging him to take counsel from them, find out how committed they are to the idea.  Just because someone is not yet out of their teens doesn't mean they don't have a brain in their head, or an idea of what they want to do with their lives.

TimGX wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 4:36pm:

Juanida, it would be appreciated if you could keep your patronising comments to yourself. Or if you reaaly feel the need PM Matthew.

Matthew wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 7:10pm:

I've glanced through this thread and before I write another word I must apologise to Tim because I hadn't realised he's an expert on all things teenager and parenting. Therefore, I must bow to his superior knowledge. To his credit, he came on here looking for advice where he got plenty and obviou...

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...sly was not happy with people pointing out pitfalls and threats that could happen (please note not what will happen). He gets all defensive and starts preaching and pontificating to those from which he asked advice. 

Tim sought advice and therefore I must assume he realizes that (like most of us) he is not fully in control of everything in his life. Then he decides to try and run part of Juanida's life (another person who tried to offer advice) and suggests she should be sending me Private Messages for whatever reason. 

At this stage on the thread, if I were Tim I'd be keeping my big overused cakehole closed before causing some irreparable damage to his own mental well being. The high moral ground can be a low place to be and the further you are in its height, the longer can be your fall. I have a lot of mileage on the clock and have reared twice as many as Tim and currently am helping to raise our grandchildren. I don't wish any ill health to others, but I've seen "experts" come and go. If I were Tim I'd be thanking those who tried to give him advice because if things go pear shape it will be the likes of us who will be contributing to bar collections so that he can return to the UK with some dignity.

Matthew wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 7:10pm:

I've glanced through this thread and before I write another word I must apologise to Tim because I hadn't realised he's an expert on all things teenager and parenting. Therefore, I must bow to his superior knowledge. To his credit, he came on here looking for advice where he got plenty and obviou...

Read more...

...sly was not happy with people pointing out pitfalls and threats that could happen (please note not what will happen). He gets all defensive and starts preaching and pontificating to those from which he asked advice. 

Tim sought advice and therefore I must assume he realizes that (like most of us) he is not fully in control of everything in his life. Then he decides to try and run part of Juanida's life (another person who tried to offer advice) and suggests she should be sending me Private Messages for whatever reason. 

At this stage on the thread, if I were Tim I'd be keeping my big overused cakehole closed before causing some irreparable damage to his own mental well being. The high moral ground can be a low place to be and the further you are in its height, the longer can be your fall. I have a lot of mileage on the clock and have reared twice as many as Tim and currently am helping to raise our grandchildren. I don't wish any ill health to others, but I've seen "experts" come and go. If I were Tim I'd be thanking those who tried to give him advice because if things go pear shape it will be the likes of us who will be contributing to bar collections so that he can return to the UK with some dignity.

Matthew wrote on Mon May 25, 2020 7:10pm:

I've glanced through this thread and before I write another word I must apologise to Tim because I hadn't realised he's an expert on all things teenager and parenting. Therefore, I must bow to his superior knowledge. To his credit, he came on here looking for advice where he got plenty and obviou...

Read more...

...sly was not happy with people pointing out pitfalls and threats that could happen (please note not what will happen). He gets all defensive and starts preaching and pontificating to those from which he asked advice. 

Tim sought advice and therefore I must assume he realizes that (like most of us) he is not fully in control of everything in his life. Then he decides to try and run part of Juanida's life (another person who tried to offer advice) and suggests she should be sending me Private Messages for whatever reason. 

At this stage on the thread, if I were Tim I'd be keeping my big overused cakehole closed before causing some irreparable damage to his own mental well being. The high moral ground can be a low place to be and the further you are in its height, the longer can be your fall. I have a lot of mileage on the clock and have reared twice as many as Tim and currently am helping to raise our grandchildren. I don't wish any ill health to others, but I've seen "experts" come and go. If I were Tim I'd be thanking those who tried to give him advice because if things go pear shape it will be the likes of us who will be contributing to bar collections so that he can return to the UK with some dignity.